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It wouldn't be so hard to be her, from that point of view.I thought about what being a girl really meant. I mean, I thought about growing up and having to like boys and? etc. That thought pretty much disgusted me. I mean, I was just an eleven-year-old boy and hadn't really gone through puberty yet, but I was slowly starting to take interest in girls, and the thought of being romantically involved with other boys was purely revolting to me. But on the other hand, I was so miserable at the moment that I didn't think I could ever form a normal loving romantic relationship with ANYONE anymore, boy OR girl. So I wasn't sure that should be taken into consideration so much.Then there was the question of how Laurie's parents would react to it. They knew that Laurie had died. How would it be for them if I came back in her body? Could they believe that I met someone who was able to magically transform me into Laurie? Maybe they'd be angry with me for trying to 'replace' their daughter,. Tomorrow.I went to my room and closed the door. I was shaking and having stomach cramps. I'd just smoked a rock about three hours ago but was needing another one. I searched my drawer and found the one I hid two days ago. Ronnie left the bag on the counter while he took a shower and I took one. Just one so he wouldn't know I did it.He's been holding out on me, not giving me any until I reached his predetermined quota, which was always too high. I heard him tell Deek once that he likes to keep me "hungry" so I'll stay in line. I really needed one and sat on my window and smoked it. I felt so much better afterward.Later Ronnie came home with some clothes he bought for the baby.All pink newborn items and he was very happy, more so than I'd seen in a while. He kissed mom long and hard on the lips and rubbed her tummy telling the baby 'hi'. He even smiled at me. "You ready to be a big sister?" he asked kissing my forehead. I sighed. Under different circumstances I'd love to be a big.
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